Used and abused

Every relationship I go through, every situation I live and things go all screwey, I chock it up to experience. e

Especially when relationships go bad or things go wrong, I force myself to get a lesson out of it. In the end, regardless of how badly things really are, Iput a positive spin on it. Everything I do, i find the positivity in it.

Lately I feel like I've been going through a lot of shit. I'm gaining alot of experience. So, instead of feeling self-loathing because things don't turn out the way I want it, I end up learning more about myself, my family, friends, peers, human nature, motivation of people. I grow wiser and gain insight with every experience.

But now that I encounter it so much, sometimes i feel like i am putting myself in certain situations just to gain the experience. Like I'm using these people to get the experience. Mostly because before I even get into anything with anyone, male, female, friend, foe, family, I know how it will end. Trust me, I am usually right on knowing how it will end, don't call it self-fulfilling prophecy because the endings don't favor me at all, so why would I sabatoge myself?

Sorry to all the people I've used and I forgive you for using me.