Well guess what? He never called back. I think he sensed that I had some talking to do, especially since the conversation the day before. The day before, he said some things that should have been obvious to me that he's not interested in going further in a relationship with me. And I, never being the one for subtleties, didn't get it. If you want me to understand, you have got to say it in English. I was never good at reading between the lines and I don't decipher passive-aggressiveness well. In that conversation, i didn't realize it then but I do now, we were on different pages. Anyways, he sent me a message today about how he left his phone in his friends car this weekend and he'll call back.
I am not dumb. I believe he probably had company this weekend and couldn't tear himself away from that person to give me a call. Cuz thats how he was with ME the last time he had a 4-day weekend. Not once did he get on the phone, though I know there were many people that should have been calling him. LOL, I bet he was praying his butt off that I didn't call him either, but I am NOT a stalker type. And we came to the agreement that you would call, I will await your call. And if you don't call, then I will assume that you don't want to talk to me. And why call someone that doesn't want to talk to you? How awkward would that be!!
I came to the realization of a lot of things and I feel like apologizing to him. To make matters worse, I was watching reality tv (my favorite past time) and just watching interactions between men and women is so predictable when it comes to feelings and sex! I will bring up a show that relates to us.
The Bachelor: I've never watched this show until the last season where Brad "the hottest bachelor ever" had some commitment problems and ended up not picking anyone. I loved this show, not necessarily because of the show, but because Brad Womack has REAL issues and it tickles me to my core to see people who seem otherwise normal have problems. You would look at him and think, man!! He has everything and he's such a loving guy, very respectful, southern gentleman, financially responsible, humble blah blah blah, but he's screwy in the head when it comes to relationships.
Anyways, his relationship with Hillary was sooooo painful and obvious to everyone BUT except her!! OMG, everyone in America watching this show felt embarrassed for her! She didn't realize that by him calling her "friend" it meant "not girlfriend". She continuously pursued him romantically and because he kept giving her a rose at the end of every episode, she took the false hope and ran with it. Not once did he actually say: I don't see us being in a romantic relationship. He said that he could see them being friends forever. He admired a lot of things about her and thought she was one of the coolest girls on the show. But not one negative word came out of his mouth. His reasoning was he was letting her down easy.
She was so blind that by the time she got voted off, she was devastated, I mean one of the most dramatic and emotional rose ceremonies EVER!
I keep telling myself if it was obvious to everyone else, it should have been obvious to her. But she chose to see some things and ignore others. SO that's partially her fault. But Brad is also to blame because he didn't come out and say what was on his mind about them. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, but in the end he shattered her world. Imagine how much heartache would have been spared if people learn to communicate effectively. Less being politically correct and more being honest with ourselves and others.
Let me sum it up: On Vivian Rose's blog, she listed some pretty startling things that Hillary should have saw...
How do you know that Brad is just not that into you?
If he uses the word friends in every sentence.
If he never asks you for one on one time.
If you are constantly asking yourself “Why isn’t that me?”.
If he sneaks off to make out with other girls in front of you.
If you are the only one that hasn’t seen him with his shirt off.
If he uses phrases like “I’m trying to shoot you straight”
or “I don’t get nervous around you”.
If your name is Hillary…that’s a pretty good sign!