One Saturday Morning

my gramma said something that my mind put in its back pocket only to pull it out later when I least expected it and punch me in the gut while i was frying up some jimmy dean sage sausages. the eggs were overcooked, and i burnt the sausages. i gladly sacrifice my breakfast than chip away at my self-esteem.

I run like a girl :-)

I ran 13.1 miles this Sunday. I did it up hill, then down hill, then up hill, then down hill again and a gain and again. It was difficult. It was cold. It was windy. It was challenging. The scenery was breathtaking. I cursed myself outloud at the base of each hill. Running up hill for almost 2 miles in San Francisco is SUCH A RUSH! I'm still high off of my accomplishment. 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 17 minutes. and 40 seconds. Nike Women's Half Marathon, San Fracisco, October 19th, 2008.

I do, and it's okay.

I like The Shins.
I stare strangers in the eye, yet I can't even look my best friends in the eye.
I wear flip-flops in the winter.
I eat cereal for dinner more times than I should.
I am superficial, I love symmetry.
I love everyone. Everyone.
I despise people, including myself.
I am a night owl, yet I go to sleep at 8:30 every night.
I secretly want to be an actress.
I want to write short stories.
I hide my emotions from myself.
I cry for myself sometimes.
I really like a guy I met. Who knows what will be, but my life is better because I know him.
I love a guy, one of my soul mates, and he loves his wife.
I judge myself.
I dance in public.
I sing out loud at the grocery store. I tell myself I'm serenading passersby.
I am free.
I am happy.
I am sad.
I am ornery.
I am anxious.
I am restless.
I say words the wrong way.
I have a flighty attention span.
I have great attention to details and things around me, until I'm with others. Then I stop thinking.
I like to be taken care of.
I want to service others.
I mistake people for mannequins.
I mistake mannequins for people.
I only have basic TV.
I change clothes at least 3 times a day if I'm home on weekends.
I love loooooong socks.
I am messy.
I can't work in a cluttered environment.
I contradict myself.

Instead of feeling like a complete idiot for not understanding the material in my ECON 100 class, I will admit that I have a lot going on and that i don't think I have time to study as thoroughly as I should. I dont because i don't get it and I think studying math is more beneficial. Math doesn't have multiple choice questions, so i have a higher chance of guessing the right answer in economics tests.

I cannot wait until i am done with this marathon then i will have time to study like i should be, versus waking up so friggin early on saturday mornings to run 5-10 miles. THat just kills the rest of the day because after using that much energy, all i am good for is stuffing my face trying to replenish those calories lost and sleeping because I am exhausted. plus running to the gym every other day for 1 1/2 hours where as i could be studying instead. 3 classes isn't a lot. i just need to do better time management.

I will be alright. everything will be okay. i will pass Economics.