Tuesday, September 29, 2009

God will lift you up.

When things are great, don't get too comfortable cuz things will start to go bad. Sun cant always shine.

I had a great time a couple weekends ago that didnt involve the normal things im trying to avoid (degrading music, sorry people, and alcohol just to have a good time). Had a huge blast!! I was at a singles conference at the church i was attending. To be honest, the night b4 on friday, i was at a party in dc doing a friend a favor and keeping her company by attending. It had the dj, the bar, the horny men and the hating catty women. I was moving to the music cuz beats have a way to touch me just right even tho i dont always agree with the words... anywho, the atmosphere, liable to make u feel nervous or wary, was not inviting. Walk in and nobody says hi! you get sized up! sigh!! Im over that!

So what a delightful break at the singles conference. there was talk-talk-talking but at the end of the evening there was a "dance", dj, dinner, and dancing. It was L-O-V-E-L-Y, you hear me?! God had me in the palm of his had and let me see a glimpse of heaven. I had a blast dancing to my favs ( coko, dave hollister, mary mary, etc) mixed by a real christian dj... i mean it wasnt lame at all like i thought. i got home that night and layed my head on my pillow after a LONG week of working crazy hours and long Saturday of conferences and a long night of dancing and i literally was on cloud 9! My mind was white by the time i closed my eyes to go to sleep. Not just clear as i was on my way to sleep, but literally all I could see was white. (usually I see visions or colors or kaleidoscope-like visions)

It did my soul good to be around positive people that had no other motives on a Saturday night other than to have a good time, to laugh, enjoy each others company, spread God's love and entertain in a wholehearted manner. No pretenses.

I relished in my Ecstasy... It was so delicious that i forced my self to stay up enjoying, literally, a clear mind. Cant remember if ever i had one like this. and one thought strayed through my white clear mind: something is going to happen. Be prepared! My spirit was telling me that my mind was clear for a reason... just like the reset button on most ur electronics, i had a blank brain for what the next week brought on. Lemme tell u what! I made it with GOD!! I love the surprises God shows me! I feel like a kid with him and I appreciate him calming my mind so I can hear my spirit...

Note to self: Dear self,

I'm starting school with a different approach. my summer of loungin on the blu couch is over (so sad!!) (still got some sangria tho... havent found a good enuf reason to pop that top just yet)

my approach is to chill. just like my new philosophy. there is no philosophy. just do. feel, listen, absorb what earth, your spirit, and your environment is telling you and go. ease up on yourself. You have proven yourself TO yourself so just go ahead with that slow and steady pace the turtle used to win the race against the rabbit.

I've been the lazy bum, I've been the overacheiver and none of those hats fit me well. oh well, just be cool and dont stress urself out. Especially over other peoples drama!!

my confession

Writing is like running: it must be practiced to retain the skill. If you don't exercise it, soon you'll start thinking: what's the sense? you'll forget the joy and good feelings that came from it.

This blog was meant for the deep thoughts i dare not share with others. i think that made me not write on my blog for a while.

i made a preconceived criteria that i had to be going through sumthin BAD or sumthin i was ashamed to tell someone face-to-face in order to post. NOT FAIR! especially if i hadnt been through some major crisis. + i have learned to not dwell and wallow in the bad stuff. "Woe is me". that's so out of style!! Im over it! onwards and upwards.