Monday, April 14, 2008

Crazy Dream

I'm supposed to be doing my homework. In fact, I only have 29 more minutes to wrap up a chapter, but i keep thinking about my dreams. So sad that they're more comforting than the real world.

Sometimes I wish my imagination wasn't so vivid and adaptive so that I wouldn't want to sleep so much, but then I'm greatful because sometimes the conscious world doesn't even give me the emotions i experience in my dreams.

My dreams are so crazy in that I can literally be anybody in the world. I can dream I am the president and I swear, I could tell you his deepest thoughts and fears. two nights ago I dreamt that my sister was neglectful in that she let a situation go from bad to worse. In the end, I wsa some white lady married to a man, and through the mishap of my sis, she allowed a crazy man to kill our only son. He was 4. Although this would be one of the most traumatic moments in my life, just being in the loving comforting arms of my husband, I felt at ease, I knew nothing would go wrong because we had each other and I was protected from any and all. Just to know that he would be by my side throughout it all, made all the pain go away. It was such a theraputic dream. I woke up thinking I WAS married! Crazyness...

And then last night I had a dream that I ws in an apartment building with narrow staircases and some ppl were shooting at each other above and below me. To get out the way of the bullets, I tried to straddle myself between the stairwell (the part you look down, in the middle) Well, I got shot anyway!!

In the stomach. Only one that I knew of at first: two inches down and 3 inches to the right of my belly button. I was medevac'd (medically evacuated) to a surgical unit. Well, i actually was shot 2wice more: 1 inch down and 1 inch to the left of my belly button, and the last one significantly to the right side. It didn't hurt. It didn't bleed. but I touched it, I could see and feel the edges of the wounds as I looked down at my stomach. I was still walking around. The doctor wasnt in any rush and neither was I. It was weird because I was afraid of how long it would take for me to tell my mom if I needed a colostomy bag. The odds weren't on my side because of the amount of times I was shot in the general area: my intestines. I do remember getting very concerned for myself near the end because I didn't want to get an infection. I didn't even get to have surgery. I just woke up.

It was so real and weird!! All day i kept thinking to myself at work: "I got shot in my stomach... I wonder how many people would think I'm insane if I said that or even explained my dream."

Monday, April 07, 2008

Don't sweat it.

You know what? I know this is potentially embarrassing info, but fcuk it! Cuz if u knew me in real life, you'd already be hip to this, anyways!

This chit is getting out of control. I cant take it and I'm considering botox. I get the sweats... not all the time. just when im really cold and really hot, and when I get excited or nervous, and when I'm anxious or stressed, and when I drive, and when I get embarrassed or put on the spot. So, yeah, not all the time. :-)

I had orientation today at my new job and like always, I had wads of paper under my arms to protect my new business suit and button up shirt from Express. I looked DAMN fly in my pants suit! Double-takes all day, u know! Except, those wads of tissue *this is where i drop my head in shame*. It usually works but today waterworks was on point. I blame it on all the stupid times I had to get up and introduce myself and tell my story blah blah blah... well, somehow, through a long-sleeve tucked in shirt, a business jacket, and pantyhose, my wad that usually protects the valuable ridiculously overpriced cute clothes... it... fell... and NOT in an inconspicuous spot! Right behind my chair in the conference room! uuuugggghhh!

So, because of emotional stress (well really just minor embarrassment but not enough to make me sweat, but i'm exaggerating for when I go to the doctor) and going broke from the excessive dry-cleaning bills (well, I just scrub hard and i don't wear too much white, but another exaggeration for the doc...) I need botox. I extensively researched it: lasts from 6-8 months. Some websites even boast 11. I could only be so lucky...

The best part!!! I can have my insurance pay for it!! YAY! Whew, that was brave of me to admit. Actually not really, cuz u don't know me :-)

Have a good day and stay blessed!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Some thoughts

So whats the difference between our citizens of the past and now? more and more time is dedicated to entertainment and leisure. Before there was such a rampant amount of technology, innovation, novel ideas and inventions, we were all in the dark: literally and figuratively. You worked from sun up to sun down. You didn't do too much complaining about what you did or didnt have because you didn't know that your neighbor, cousin, brother, had it worse or better than you. Plus back then we were self-sufficient. We had wants and needs. We did what we needed to get what we wanted. (sidebar: when was debt invented? Probably when slavery was.)
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Now with technology, everything is laid out in our laps. Our world has grown smaller with each newscast of China, or blog of Iraq. We are more aware of our neighbors over the Atlantic then we were with our next-door neighbor.
Back then our economy was geared towards manufacturing and industrial, but now with technology, those jobs are of the past. We have computers that run machines. That gives us the luxury of working in the service and information dominated economy. The luxuries include more time to spend with family or just to do leisure things, because technology not only solved the question of who's going to do the back breaking laborious job, but also streamlined all other jobs. Face it, typing an email to someone has considerably cut down numbers at the Post Office.
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Most people argue, though, that technology hasn't in fact helped out as much as we thought it did. We are still busy, if not busier than say, 50 years ago. People were enthused with the possibility of computers taking over a lot of things, but no one factored in the maintenance of our society as a whole. Humans are still needed to make decisions, come up with innovative ideas, solve problems and be leaders and mentors to each other.
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Then what happens when scientist finally crack the code of human intelligence? When computers are finally programmed to think on their own. Do we really think that life will be even easier? There will still be our core issues. Our problems will evolve into other things and the process will start all over again.
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I wonder if our ancestors, or just maybe 100 year ago those people had a chance to live in our world. I think they would have a mixture of joy and horror. All the beneficial and productive things, but the demoralizing issues. I wonder if they would think that all the advances of the human race are not worth the effort because of all the new devastation that wasn't an issue back then.
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Is technology worth it in the end? Is technology focused on the wrong things? Instead of trying to be the first company to invent a computer that can do this or that, how about an idea to combat poverty, pollution, crime, sexism and racism. I realize inthe scientific world our focus is on military, medicinal etc issues. A large part of that focus falls into creature comforts as well. When will we decide that the priority is our children and our seniors, the disabled and uneducated. Instead of ensuring everyone in their house has a television equipped to handle the move from analog to digital cable, how about we ensure all children have 3 squares, a bed to sleep in, and the promise to be safe from abuse.
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Has technology dictated our values or have our values dictated technology?
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Happy April Fools Day

For those that don't take jokes well, stay home today.

My boss already got played.... In the spirit of me and another one of my coworkers quitting last week, about 6 guys decided to play a trick on our manager... all 6 resigned with resignation letters and all... Great timing since we're having a MANDATORY meeting with the big dogs about how bad we've been doing the past few months...

Dude was shitting bricks and sweating up a storm... He ran to my office and said "Look what you started!!" Lol, i didnt even know it was a joke at that point... I hope noone tricks me cuz im gullible...