Monday, March 24, 2008

Who I attract... this is another long one...

This post covers two things: The kind of men I attract (with some detail to one in particular), and money issues with the men I attract... Apparently they relate to each other, sadly.
I was at the MSN page this morning and i saw a link to an irresistible article about "Are you dating a player?" Frankly, I'm not dating anyone, more like talking to/getting to know... but I figured I'd compare my notes with MSN's notes... I may have some signs that they missed...
Anyway, the first one: "He's bold. For the player, the pickup is a game. He doesn't approach women with the same nerves or awkwardness of a normal guy. He’ll walk up confidently, with a big smile and great eye contact. His manner will be smooth and put-together." blah blah blah It goes on to say that they're not nervous because they do it all the time. While I don't agree nor disagree, it had me thinking about how I act when men approach me.
This struck a cord and I realized that because of how shy, quiet and reserved I act when I meet a potential, I must look like a newbie to the game. That's like blood to a shark! Those "players" automatically assume I am naive and try their hardest to sink their claws in...
The last few potentials... yep, so-called players in my mind ESPECIALLY because each one of them asked for money for some reason or another all nonchalantly Like we've known each other for years. What have you done for me lately? What am i doing that makes you think I'm stupid enough to loan you money to buy a motorcycle (when u admitted u still owe your momma, at the age of 29 still getting loans from her), pay your cousin back, fly you in to see me, trade up your car, pay your child support, etc?
Of course I said no each time, and not all of those have been the specific excuses but you get my drift.
One of them, I just stopped talking to altogether! Especially since he told me that he pushed his Denali down a hill/cliff to collect insurance (he had the nerve to say it all regular-like, what did I expect, this was his second time doing it... silly me). I had to get off the phone with him cuz I literally started to get physically ill! Who in their right minds would do that?!
#1) A Denali? Shit, I woulda bought it off him. Ha ha! Apparently he didn't want to sell it... child support...
#2) I got a clearance. I aint tryna fug with nobody dealing with out of control debt problems and insurance fraud. I ran and never looked back! Just stopped all contact cold turkey.
That was in September, I think... Well yesterday I FINALLY got IM and because i don't know how to log on invisible yet... guess who decided to chat it up... The Denali killer. Eventually thru the convo he asked why I stopped talking to him and why I deleted him off myspace (I'm sooo notorious for that...)
I gave him the usual lie about myspace: ethics complaint at work blah blah blah, investigation involving myspace and coworkers blah. I know ppl can see thru it, but nobody calls me on it, so imma keep using it!! By the way, myspace is a joke.
But i told him the partial truth about why i stopped talking to him. I knew MONTHS in advance that he was gonna ask for money, only it was a matter of time, so I stopped caring what he said. I told my cousin about it like 6 months prior and then he did it. I shoulda played the lotto on it.
Anyways digression is a b!tch... i told him that i don't know how to say no after i say yes (yeah, i told him yes with no intentions of loaning him money because it went with my plan of having SOME reason for never talking to him other than me just being a b!tch). I also told him that I'm bad at communication and I suppress my opinions so that I don't offend people, but i dig a hole so deep, there's no crawling out when I disagree with them. He said he figured that it was about the money. Oh, and that it was childish of me... Yes "That was childish of you!" I laughed and typed, "I know".
I can't tell you how many countless things he's done that are childish and nowhere near manly! One involves him waiting to be courtmarshalled by the military for desertion... among other trifling-ass things he shared with me. He has an uncanny and undeserved sense of entitlement about him! I think i talked to him because of his stories and my morbid curiosity of if he could top himself! I guess he especially thought because he was so honest about everything, he was granted to do anything he wanted, regardless of if it's against normal people's morals and values... Geez, how do I attract these boys? WTF?

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