I feel exx.xxpecially guilty about informing one specific person
that im leaving my old job. it's crazy that i feel guilty cuz she
has that uncanny ability to drive anybody crazy! I am a sick
woman. I feel like an enabler. I protect her from adapting to
the real world and treating others with respect by adapting to her crazy
distortion of realness. By doing that, i minimize her instances
of conflict between her and others.
I can work with anybody. I'm sorry but nobody's coming between
me and my paycheck!
I adapt easily and I selfishly adapted to her so I could actually
have work to do. I don't know if this makes sense
to anybody else, because it doesn't make sense to me!
I know enablers mainly are for addicts, but it applies to this situation
because there's a codependent relationship between us.
its the lady that nobody can work with... I've been working with
her for about 3 years off and on when I'm not deployed.
She literally has run through 7+ people
cuz she is so difficult to work with.
Once, she begged and begged that they hire someone else to assist her.
They jumped through HOOPS to find the money to salary someone.
especially because they can barely justify keeping her position in
the first place.
A difficult woman she is: she's older, forgets stuff
and then blames it on others. shit, she blames stuff on me
all the time to my face without saying it.
she'll tell you to do paperwork
and when you bring it back for her to check, she pulls out a red pen...
WTF, you ask, she used to be a teacher like 15 years ago...
she's very picky. She'll ask
you for your opinion and feedback, but when you start talking,
she either stops listening or starts talking over you.
Don't even decide to ask her a question about
something you worked on yesterday. She'll stare at you
with the blankest of faces. You have to start drawing
pie charts pull out graphing calculators and start alligning
the stars for her to remember... she makes me feel like i'm
speaking in another language. [sigh]
Her style as a team lead sucks! She says,
"lets make this a collaboration! You don't need leadership from me!"
"Please, I welcome your input!" but then when
you start suggesting things [lol] she starts giving you all these
explanations why she does things her way! Like you're
attacking her or something... I figured that out early on,
so i now just suggest things underhandedly and when
she gets it and repeats it, i act like it was her idea.
See, im an enabler!
but nobody probably would want the position i fill as her assistant. hell,
i'm not even supposed to be doing it in the first place! it's just so
boring at work, i'd volunteer to clean the toilets just to stay
busy!
Anyway, i digressed. I am the go-to girl for expense reports cuz
she's too busy doing travel arrangements, logging and all that other
boring stuff. A secret between u and me... I've done her job... yep! and
it wasn't THAT hard! She was out for ankle surgery and i was the
only one on the team left! We went from 5-woman team to little ole
me in literally 2 months. she drove 2 people off the team, one other
team member went to iraq, so it was just me to do the work of 5. Um,
i survived! So, yes, it's her!
So why, you ask, do i feel guilty for having to tell her that
I'm quitting? Ha! I told you, I'm a sick woman! Can
the abused wife answer why she won't leave her alcoholic
husband? Can the beraded and down-trodden adult child
answer why he won't stop being in contact with his highly critical,
verbally abusive and degrading father? Can the
hard-working peon answer why she won't leave the needy,
overbearing sensitive-ego boss that pays hard work with a couple
of thank you's and no raise?
Why am I so dramatic? Good God. I got shit to do, i shouldn't have been typing
this out for this long. It got a little out of hand, whoops, sorry!
but I must admit, I do feel better!!
No comments:
Post a Comment