Tuesday, July 13, 2010

U got issues

Come as you are. Time to write.

I just eamiled Dboy. No response. Why am I worried? Dunno. no good reason. Just dont like to be ignored. Here's the deal. Not everyone responds to all my texts. But I specifically said by name?! So? You are avoiding ppl. Guess what? Thats how the world turns. U know now how it feels not only cuz its something ur ding but there are fewer people that you can feel hurt by an ignored phone call. The thing is, A is a lot closer to you. You are very vulnerable towards her. And when she doesnt call you back, you aren't butt-hurt. You learned how not to put weight behind that for her specifically. Always there is a reasonable reason. Not wanting to talk to me hurts but that is my choice if I want to use that. Its not personal. People have super busy lives. And maybee not so busy. But its not my job to fill in the void with self-deprecating, malicious, self-defeating thoughts. That isnt my job. Just be who you are in the mean time. You know?! You know how it feels to shun ppl, and you know how it feels to be in your bubble. You know how it is. just be in the bubble. I want to know if someone can make it? Can they? Can they change? successfully? Can they. i can. Can we change what we've been through? can e adapt?

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