Monday, July 12, 2010

Hurt people hurt people

Love you forever.

Do people really mean that? Forever? Can we ever really fall out of love. I am visiting the graveyard of love otherwise known as my hotmail account. I have collected throbbing, innocent dripping still-warm hearts of the many men I have unwittingly infatuated. They had no idea... i just ripped their hearts out... on some occasions slowly, sometimes even relishing in the joy of watching it beat in my very own hands. It was calculated, manipulatory skills are very well respected! Wow, I must have been hurt! I must have really wanted to hurt. My game was the truth. I wasn't the victim besides the fact that I thought i was the victim. Wow. I am having some hindsight and I am happy I acted my conflicted love affairs on men. God, If i were a boy, I think a lot of women would be dead right now.

I have a bad memory. Don't really know why either. I think we all do. I wrote David back. I did because I reread the emails we sent each other. And as I picked through the carnage that were my intimate thoughts and desires, I realized I really liked him. I am not a liar and I pride myself in that fact so when I reread my words I know who to trust. And just the pure unadulterated honesty that I wrote to him, very candidly put myself out there... it's no wonder he still emails me every once in a while.

Hurt people hurt people

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