So, my cousin wrote me an email that her new Years resolution is to grow up? how? cuz it could mean alot of ways, but in any rate, it got me thinking about what it meant to me in 10th grade to grow up. I remember when i was in high school and ppl used to say to me, "Dont rush to grow up, young lady! Cherish the days you have as a teenager!" and so now im thinking back.... cherish for what?
im looking back the last few years and comparing it to my hi school life and i was right to rush growing up in some aspects, like taking care of myself and being in charge of my future. I was rushed into growing up when i was 10 when i had to take care of my baby brother, i was rushed into growing up when i had to pay the landlord the late rent cuz my mom was too embarassed to do it herself (she told me so). I was rushed to grow up when my mom asked me to piss in a cup for her job urinalysis cuz she was gonna fail it if she did it herself, I was rushed into growing up when my dad came home crying like a baby one labor day cuz he was drunk and passed out on "his" couch when we had company (middle of the day...) I think i will stop there because all the other ones are shit that I wasnt (who decides what is proper for a kid...) supposed to be exposed to at the ages that I was...
Even though i post stuff like this, believe it or not, im not a depressed, depressing person. I love to laugh and play around. Although I do get deep and serious at times, i do need to reflect on the good things as well. I'm just happy that i reached a point where I can think about this stuff and not be sad or upset anymore... for now at least.
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