Thursday, September 29, 2005

Someone said "She's pretty. She's skinny too!" What?! Then some other occasion he said "She would be so pretty if she lost a few pounds."Huh? This guy is saying what I'm thinking. Why am I getting mad at him? Because I have the decency to keep un-nice comments to myself.

Does that make me better? No. I hate myself when this happens. There are some times where I just want to point out an observation: "He got some BIG ears!!" But I know nothing good is going to come out of that statement. I'm just being mean, picking on someone. Not nice. I do know better. I accept everyone for what they are. There is good in everyone. Including me, even tho i have the tendency to be over-critical of superficial things that don't make people who they are. So who cares if you have big feet. What does it matter if you have tiny elf ears? Does that mold who you are?

This guy told me I am attractive. I told him I don't like to hear compliments. "Why?" Because, at this point in my life, I am getting way too much attention because of how I look. Why should I be treated differently because my countenance is more pleasing to your eye? What if i was horribly disfigured? Would I be treated so fairly? I just want things to be equal. Your looks don't last a lifetime. What I would give to have someone accept me for everything I have to offer. Mind, Body and soul. Sad thing is, I can't deny that I'm the same way . Not to blame it on society, but our society does glorify beauty. Everyday we are told thru media, our peers, things like that: It pays to look good. Even tho I try my best not to be overly attractive, I still need the acceptance of the opposite sex. It's a never-ending struggle. I guess the conflict is in my head. My ego against my conscience.

No comments: