Tuesday, November 11, 2008

No title

There are many things i am ashamed of. One of them is something I don't think anybody shares: how much or little respect they have for their parents. Among my siblings and I, its a running joke. It's the only way we feel any justice for the parents we were given. We talk mad shit about them. They deserve it... sometimes lol, but i dunno, i feel bad.

I respect and love my parents to no end. No End. I would give my life for them, but a long time ago I thought I lost respect for them for the bad choices they made that affected themselves and their children.

Now that I am older I understand that it's more that I respected them, but not the things they did. But when i was younger, because they made bad choices, i would use that to my advantage, rub it in their faces and hold it over their heads. It's like holding a fault somebody has against them. Manipulation and revenge rolled into one.

4 comments:

Reverie said...

All kids do that, hun. Some may not verbalize it to their parents, but if the same children have kids of their own there's a poetic justice that lets them hear it or feel it from their own kids. Then they know how their parents felt.

I went through the same process and really caught hell from my children, who in turn caught it from theirs.

It must be some generational rite of passage.

Mista Jaycee said...

Do your parents provide an illustration for your life? Now that you're older, it's not easy being an adult. I know for me I have a few things that I can never change but still I regret..

The regret is not the worst part it's not being able to change what has happened.
Jaycee

sweetpea said...

Mista Jaycee, no illustration to my life. My actions and fruits of my labor are entirely different, however my attitude, personality are from them. They unintentionally taught me many things more than they meant to.

sweetpea said...

Reverie, I hope I don't catch the same flack from my future kids, but I understand it's inevitable.