Wednesday, August 04, 2010

run run run. running running ran. away from facing it. ran into a physical brick wall. can't mentally run anymore so I decided to physically run. Run run running every day. Im about to run into a mental brick wall now because of the physical running. need to vent let it out. i am sad a lot of things have happened including my mothers death. i am not happy that i have to figure out how life is going to be without her. many times i just want to call her and talk. especially now that i have a new job that is very challlenging. what do i do when i want to talk to her? I talk to layla... no cant talk. she only re-spits out what i have told her the days before. not talking to hear anything. just talk to let things out. think them through. i want my mother back. i want my dad to be okay. i dont want my brother mad at me. i want us all to be functioning and rely on each other in a positive way. i want life to be fine. i want a man i want to live somewhere happily. i need to find out what i can do to find the happiness. i am happy now, but dont perceive myself to be happy when i am working towards being happy. some things are just necessary things that have t obe done in order to gt the goals and i need t learn to be happy in those times.

my office mate is on the phone talking talking talking and it bothers me. i just need an unclass to vent somethimes and its difficult to do... i will have to go from one computer to another all day if that what it takes...

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