I'm asking for a lot. I am. I lost some very important people in my life recently. Granted, some of those relationships were tumultuous at times, but they were the fibers that were intertwined with my DNA. I would NOT be here but for them. I love my life, my lineage and what I was created to stand for. I don't pretend to know what my purpose is. I just know that I don't know right now.

I lost a lot in a little and I feel like noone but me is supposed to be filling in but I never knew what the answers were in the first place so how should I know. I went to others for wisdom,because I didn't think I possessed it. I guess I did and I do because when something ceases to exist, their energy is not gone forever. It is transfered. I dont want my mom to be dead. it hurts to face that reality. it is just so unbelievable that it hurts. i dont want to face it. i am facing it. it is true. nothing can bring her back. so sudden.