it is within the depths of my soul i carry...
...insurmountable sadness that cannot be overcome...
...sorrow with no depth that can be measured...
...guilt and shame which can never be washed away...
...anger and rage too afraid to express for fear of total loss of control...
...hopelessness that while fleeting has ability to capsize the whole psyche...
...a sense of defeat with no energy to rebuild the life and mentality I once had.

Life will never be the same.
I will never be the same.

I will be better.

Out of ashes rises the phoenix.

Out of pressure comes the diamond.

Most importantly out of my tattered and broken self arises a new born spirit with the knowledge, wisdom, hard-learned lessons that will guide me for the rest of my life.